Connecting your Dots

For the past few days I have been a bit restless. Dont
know why. Wanted to know it but. I recalled all that I
had done in the past week that had made me so
restless. Nothing was new.. nothing was unusual. I had
attended all 4 days of classes except two. Managed to
submit all the assignments but in the last minute.
Woken up 15 minutes before the class and rushed in 5
minutes late. Had thought about my home.. my friends
there.. my crushes back home.. listened to music..
smoking had not reduced. Everything seemed to be
normal but something was not. All of a sudden it
struck me. The exams were coming and I had still not
started studying. Now i know the reasons.

Having done most of my education in India I have
already taken up different types of exams at different
phases of life. The most important being the boards
which they say is "the turning point of my life". I
screwed it up big time and the only thing that turned
was that the girl who i was to have a crush on was in
a different class. Then came the series of engineering
exams. Took 63 of them if I remember correct. My
college had lost all hopes of trying to make me a good
engineer. For all people like me there is always the
software field where I again had to take exams in
Infosys, the company I worked, to prove that I am bit
more than useless. and now I am here in a different
part of the world studying all new subjects and the
exams fast approaching.

I really wonder why we take up an exam. Is it to prove
to myself that I know something in that topic..NO. why
should I prove to myself. Is it to make the professor
happy that he was successful in delivering some of his
thoughts and prove he has effective communication
skills. I am not in for that. I tried hard to figure
out a reason why? and I ended up getting two answers.
One is to make yourself look cool. I can look into the
people eye's and say MBA and act humble. The look that
the opposite person gives (if she is hot) is one
reason worth it.

Leaving jokes apart the other reason is something
serious. Someone said You can never connect your dots
looking forwards. You dont know what are u doing but
later you realise what you did. What you do now
becomes what you have done later. Hence another reason
could be I badly want to connect my dots.. looking
backwards.

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