How good is your english??

Somehow my Dad till day feels that I have never improved my english and that he dint get the returns of making me study in a real expensive school when it comes to English knowledge. He is the real old school types where he learnt his English mostly from Law books and that shows what level his command over the language should be in. Having studied in CBSE school we never concentrated on grammar and for my Dad that was the heart of language. He wud say.. without knowing the grammar how can you even think about talking in that language. For him english is used for business proposals, writing law books and judgements.. and so on.. but for me.. english is used for Peter udrathu.. kadala podrathu.. and film katrathu.. so I guess i never required the knowledge of grammar. My Dad once got me a gift.. it was a thick red book with high quality paper and wanted me to read it everyday. I instead made paper rockets out of it and flew it out of the balcony whenever I
was bored.. "Pala naal thirudan oru nal agapaduvan.." (The thief will be caught someday..) i know its not the exact translation but thats my level..

It was an interview with Gill Adarsh and another one of those unforgettable moments. for my mark in Tenth I shud ve been given an admission on a silver plate instead those people called me for an interview. and worse they wanted the parents to accompany the ward.. I went for the interview with my dad and on the way to the school my Dad was trying to teach me all the interview manners.. I somehow felt he was stuck in the 70's when it came to interviews.. I dint listen to a word of what he had said because my board exams had just got over and my friends were waiting for me in the movie hall and I was here attending this dumb interview for 11th admissions.. I jsut wanted to get over with this soon and run to the movie..

I enter the hall.. I see a man sitting in the center of a big table.. Shud be the principal I assumed and 3 ladies were sitting there who looked like teachers to me.. so I went and took my seat.. The first thing the Principal said was "Stand up.. dont you have manners that you should ask and sit". My Dad had told me to ask permission just 5 minutes ago.. I looked at my Dad's face to get that cold stare.. And I never asked for a seat instead decided to stand and answer.. Could have been easier to have run away.. but this was just the start.

The first lady questioned me in Math.. Since I was from CBSE and math was my fav subject I blew her off. all the answers were perfect and she was impressed.. Thats one lady down.. Next was the lady who questioned me in Physics.. Ah.. it was her turn. I was shooting answers like a bullet and she was totally flat.. Two down.. My Dad was all smiling looking at his son's intelligentce.. I was waiting for the third person to ask me in chemistry.. (Cmon thats how we all assume.. math phy and wat comes next... chemistry..)

Chemistry was not my strongest subject but still I had taken the exam a couple of days back and was quite confident. So this old female asks me "What are Gerens? (I am not sure if i ve spelt it rite but thats how it sounded) I was not sure which part of chemistry that was in.. would be some form of a gel.. or would be in organic chemistry.. I dint wanna take a guess and make a fool out of myself in front of my dad.. so I decided to accept that I dint know and spoke up bravely "Sorry mam.. We HAVE NOT LEARNT THIS IN CHEMISTRY...." It all started there.. She said "This is english grammar my boy.."

I had totally blown it off... I dint wanna look at my dad's face.. How stupid could I be.. I was cursin myself.. She interruped me asking "Have you not learnt this in your grammar". How dumb could that question be.. I thought it was in chemistry and that shows I was way off the correct answer and she asks me this dumb question.. I said "No we have not.." and I thought it all ended there.. when the next bomb fell..

She started Explaining waht those gerens were in grammar.. "Subject following verb.. adverb.. athu ithu. this and that.. greekl and latin @#$@# .." And Finally she said she was done. To tell you the truth even today I dont know what all this subject and object is.. wats a noun verb.. none of this i know.. And I had to listen to an explanation which was a combination of all this.. And finally she asks "Did you understand?" I said "YES" but it was not over yet,

"Now can you give me an example for this?". I was like What the F______ is happening.. Seriously I shud ve run away at that point.. but wanted to see where this was heading.. Now I was acting like kamal hasan as if I was trying to think.. With my hands folded and then over my forehead.. everyone in the room were silent & staring at me and probably those two mintues were too long and finally she herself broke the silence with "Give an Example with Swimming" I made up a sentence saying "Sheela is swimming." Is it over now? tell me it is.. She said " No.. that is a wrong example.. The right example would be to say Swimming is a good exercise"

Happaa.. it is over.. I acted like I realised a mistake and then I said "Oh yeah that would be a better example and smiled" the smile was genuine for it all getting over.. Now that female asks "Where is the GEREN here??" I felt like Lifting my hands up and saying I surrender.. but after many more questions it was finally over..

AAAAAAAA.. Mudiala.. And finally after all this I was given the admit.. NOw that principal who signed the interview form told me.. "Dont waste your time in these summer holidays.. Your grammar is too weak.. There is a book called Wrenn and Martin read it everyday.." and then he looked at my Dad and told him "Get your son that book soon.. " It was now my Dad became even more angry.. I had no clue why.. But that book name did sound familiar to me..

We came back home.. He went and opened a shelf and dusted some old books out.. It was right there. The book he had got me.. It was actually Wrenn and MArtin Grammar.. And half those pages were missing (those paper rockets..)

The thief was caught..

Cheers!!!

Nambi